Samosas

Ramzan is a time all of us look forward to. The narrow streets are well lit, stalls appear almost overnight selling different kinds of kebabs,  fried meats,  rose milk with khus khus,  caramel custard,  samosas with different kinds of fillings, even exotic camel meat. We, the kids, my wife & I go stall to crowded stall, savouring a little bit of everything. 

It is an Aladdin's cave for all the senses,  walking through the smoky road, smelling kebabs in the oven,  savouring small leaf plates of meat piled high with sliced onions,  along with Semiya (We refer to it as Idiappam), watching them skewer  or fry the meat,  filling hundreds of samosas, is an experience that everyone of us enjoy. 

Usually, the activities are concentrated a long way from home, and we drive all the way there, park wherever we find space, and walk stall to stall.This time, it was with a lot of anticipation I watched stalls being setup in my route from work to home.  On the first day of the stalls being setup,  on my way back from work,  I stopped for some hpt samosas. Usually,  the Samosas I get have a tough hard shell, hard enough to hurt the unside of your mouth,  but during the festival time,  its crisp and soft at the same time. I always wonder how can they fry it crispy and yet keep it so soft. 

Each shopkeeper has his own unique recipe,  so at each place the kababs, samosas and fried meat has its own unique taste. If I bought samosas from three different stalls,  each one would look, feel and taste different. Since, the whole concept is meant to keep it affordable for the masses, most places don't offer Tissues/Paper napkins. Instead, sheets of Newspaper pages are cut into small squares. These newspapers form the Paper plate, and Napkin rolled into one. 

I packed some kebabs the first day of the festival, and everybody loved it at home. The next day on my way back, I stopped to buy Samosas. i ordered 4 and while the boy was packing it, ordered one to eat. Since the helper boy was already busy packing my order, the owner took it upon himself to give me my Samosa. 

From his perch he reached out his chubby fingers to take the newspaper square from the bunch kept there. The newspaper sheet stuck stubbornly to the bunch. Then in slow motion, the owner raised his thick Thumb to his mouth, licked it liberally,  extended the now wet dripping Thumb to the Newspaper pile,  pushed his Thumb onto the pile, stuck one sheet to his wet Thumb, brought his Thumb & the sheet sticking to it close. He placed one Samosa on this newspaper sheet, and extended a chubby arm with the Samosa to me. 

Miraculously, my stomach was already full and I didn't want to eat anymore.

Ambushed

On my morning walks with Tommy, we meet other dog walkers. Usually a safe buffer zone is maintained by both parties,  to avoid any over enthusiasm. There are people who walk dogs, and dogs which walk people. The difference is in who is leading the walk. 

The first scenario is usually a peaceful passing by,  both dogs acknowledging or ignoring the other party. In the second scenario,there is no safe buffer zone. The dog leader usually becomes very protective about his human, aggressively lunging at other dogs. The dog drags the human wherever he fancies,  and the human usually appears to be hanging on for dear life on the ride.

There is a couple who I keep meeting. They have a German Shepherd & a Labrador. The dogs walk the owners. The husband seems slightly more in control. The wife is short, slightly plump and wears short skirts and tight T shirts in luminous colours.  

When I pass them,  usually we smile at each other,  or mouth a Good morning-without any sound. They are usually busy, fighting to control the dogs who are leaping and dragging them around. Tommy being very smart, pretends he can't see larger or aggressive dogs,  ignoring them completely. 
A few days back, we were driving back home in the evening, and just outside the lane leading to our apartment, I stopped to let my son buy Momos from a roadside vendor. As my wife and I sat in the car, on the opposite side of the road, the lady in her luminous short skirt appeared with her dog. She saw me, smiled, nodded her head and mouthed a silent Hello.I smiled back. And..then...my left ear exploded 

"WHY IS THAT WOMAN SAYING HELLO TO YOU? WHO IS SHE ? I DON'T KNOW HER. HOW DO YOU KNOW HER ? HOW COME YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT HER ?" I was carried away in the flood of questions, gamely trying to stay afloat. Unexpected as it was, I was caught unawares. I started to stammer, "That is....who is....the dog......woman who walks." It didn't sound convincing to me, let alone a suddenly possessive wife. I spent the next 5 minutes on the drive home explaining to a suddenly silent and chill wife.

We reached home and after the rest of my family went upstairs,  I sat in the car wondering what the hell just happened ? I didn't do anything. Felt like I was crossing an empty road,  when a road roller suddenly appeared and ran me down

Efficiency

Knowledge of Malayalam language essential to understand this

Ravilley veettil oru kasha pisha. Paathram kazhukal is my duty in the morning. The kids take it by turns everyday to stack the washed vessels in the cupboard. My wife complains Nikki-my daughter doesn't do a good job. After Nikki stacks it,  and if my wife tries to take any vessel, every other vessel comes tumbling down on top of her. She says Ayaan cheyyunnathu kandu padtikedi. He does such an efficient job of stacking. Ithu kettu Ayaante manassil Laddu alla Amittu potti. Avante stacking kooduthal efficient aayi. 

Innu raavilley Puttu undakaan Podiyum, Kudavum ellaam ready aaki, nokumbol Puttu Kuttiyude chillu missing. Chillu manassilaayille ? Puttu kuttiyude ullil idunna round perforated soothram, which lets the steam in, but keeps the Puttu podi from falling into the hot water. Athillaathe Puttu kutti is a white elephant. Useless!

Useless! Evideyaada Puttinte Chillu. Wife bathroom doorinu purathu ninnu violent aavunnu. Ayaan,  aannenkil bathroomil kuli enna peril vellam ozhichu kalikunnu. Avante mammayude tone kettitu aayirikanam, avan oru towel chutti purathu vannu. Evideda Puttinte Chillu. I kept it safe,  he says. Ee mamma enthinaanu ithra silly kaaryangalku violent aavunnathu enna look. Enittu kitchen shelfil poyi,  avan onnu onnaaayi adukki vechirikunna paathrangal ellaam purathu eduthu vechu. Cinemayil kannunna poley oru Combination lock thurakunna melodrama.Ettavum ullil ulla valiya paathram eduthu, athil stack cheyytha moonnu paathram maattiyappol,  tan,  ta tang! De puttinte chillu! Safe aayittirikunnu. Oru Magiciante flourishode athu eduthu koduthittu avan veendum bathroomil kayari.

Avante mamma Pling aayi speechless. Ee samayam njaan Tommyumaayi walkinu irangi. I could hear my daughter Nikki, goal adikaan kittiya chance muthalaaki score cheyyunnu. Mama,  see,  see. You keep telling me to learn from him. See,  this is what that idiot does. And,  you say....... 


Njaanum Tommyum vaathil adachu escape aayi....

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock

In the story of Peter Pan, the Villain Capt. Hook loses one of his hands when a Crocodile bites it off, along with his wrist watch. While the Captain replaces his hand with a Hook, and consequently comes to be feared as Captain Hook, he remains in mortal fear of meeting his nemesis the Crocodile - who found him tasty. The wrist watch continues to work inside the Crocodile, and the Captain occasionally hears the watch go tick-tock, Tick-Tock as the Crocodile draws near his ship. The Crocodile is called Tick-Tock in the story. 

Dogs generally are very curious creatures, biting, chewing, swallowing whatever they can reach. I suspect that like Captain Hook's Crocodile, Tommy has swallowed an alarm clock. 

Everyday at precisely 6.05 am he wakes me, for his walk. No matter how late I slept, no matter if it is a holiday, no matter if Tommy was also up late playing the night before, at 6.05 am, I had better be up, or a wet nose, whining noises and an impatient paw makes sure I am off the bed. No mercy is offered, even if I plead. 

I keep wondering, how does he get up precisely at this time. I set my alarm early and woke up at 5.45 am, just to understand this phenomenon. He wasn't bothered with me being up early, coming close, or making coffee. One sleepy eye partially opens, checks who this duffer is, up early making noises washing vessels, and then continues with his beauty sleep. This continues till the magic 6.05 am, when he reaches me in the kitchen, ready for his walk. 

There is no other alarm in the house. Then how is Tommy so precise. I am yet to discover the answer. His habits are also very disciplined. At night beyond 11 PM he doesn't stay up. No matter if the TV is on full blast, everyone in the house is sitting in the hall near him, the kids try to play with him, Tommy goes off-duty! 
No amount of excitement or coaxing can get him up then. Off duty is Off duty - Tommy takes his timings very seriously. 

During the day too, he sleeps, when there is no one around to play with or share a snack with him. I am not allowed to eat  chicken or interesting food without sharing with him. He sits on his haunches, near my feet, looking at my chewing mouth expectantly, drooling profusely. Try as I may to ignore the unwelcome attention, the increasing pool of drool threatens to drown me, unless I share my food with him, or, I open both hands, empty palms out to show him my hands are empty, and there is no food. 
He regards this display as my surrender, and without further ado, walks away, dragging his disappointed feet. 

But the question still remains.... How is he up at this time, so precisely. He must have swallowed an alarm clock. That is the only explanation I can guess at. Tick-Tock the Crocodile is alive and well. 

A minor heart attack

Back from work, was watching a Discovery Channel program, while wifey was removing my leg bandage(from my bike accident), seated near my foot. I think the program was called Hunters. Anyway at one point it was showing wild dogs fighting with a Rhino. 

My son Ayaan 11 years old, who was supposedly studying for his final exam with his sister in their room, drifted out casually (Terrible hunger and thirst usually strikes whenever they are supposed to be studying & we happen to be watching TV) , stood just out of sight behind the corner wall, watching the TV show. 
He informs me in a matter of fact voice, "Those are called DILDOS", and calmly continues on his way to the kitchen. 

His mother who was seated on a stool, facing me with her back turned to the TV, concentrating on removing my knee bandage, freezes, eyes widening and looking at my face. 
I have had these crazy statement moments before, at home as well as with my team. So, I don't display any obvious reaction. But inside my head, my brain is frying itself, running at Super computer speed trying to make sense of the scenario. 
Where did he get this word? How did he learn this word? I am not watching anything remotely indecent, then WTF is he talking about? Has he been watching things on the computer or phone? But I did put a parental filter on the WiFi. Isn't it working? 

Then, as usual a little late, my brain makes the connection. I call out to him in the kitchen, "Ayaan, the name is DINGOS! The wild dogs of Australia are called DINGOS. These are African wild dogs."

"OH! OK." he replies as he drifts calmly out of the kitchen, returning to his room, chewing on something, unaware of the Nervous Bomb he just detonated. 
My wife and I exchange glances of relief. 

How Coca Cola, Pepsi etc mean different things to different people

The large 2 Litre & 1.5 Litre bottles of Coca Cola,  Pepsi etc, are very popular among the migrant worker population here. While they buy tetrapacks & bottles of cheap liquor, it was a surprise to me, when I saw the large bottles of sugary soft drinks, they buy


In the labour camps they live in,  there are no bathrooms or lavatories,  or the numbers are less. 

So,  early morning groups of these people including women and children, walk into the empty plots and Eucalyptus plantations, with these large distinctive bottles, filled with water. Once their business is done,  they return with these empty bottles 

Nowadays, when I see these bottles at the bakeries and supermarkets,  I get a mental picture of these people,  with their water filled bottles.