Saturday, November 25, 2017

Of Romeos - Sunil

Of the many friends I have had over the years, a few stand out, like those evergreen heroes you see in the movies, who don't change their roles over the years, but their heroines keep on changing and turn younger everytime.

One of these chaps was Sunil, whom I met when I was doing my graduation. We were a group of 4 including him. The other 3 were me, Lal, and Vinu. None of us had anything in common. Lal was the gentleman of the lot, not very outstanding to look at, with what we called sodabottle glasses for spectacles, and with a terrible inferiority complex, but the most trustworthy among all of us. Vinu was abt 6 feet, the good looking guy among us, but behaved like a Bull in a china shop. Sunil was the self-proclaimed Romeo in our bunch, telling us colourful stories of his exploits. He used to comb his hair forward with just the front tip curled up on all the sides, like a sort of helmet or cap brim.

Sunil would tell us no-girlfriend bachelors about the various women he knew "closely".  While he lived very close to my home separated by the main road, from his stories it appeared that every girl or woman who lived close to him lusted for male company. We all reached the inescapable conclusion, which Lal -the innocent voiced one day"Eda, you are so lucky.  The other side of the road where you live is some sort of Playboy heaven." The road was like the blockade that kept all this lust contained. As soon as people crossed the road from the other side to my side, they became normal. But once they crossed the road from the normal side to the lusty side, the girls would be waiting & looking out for fun on the side, each time they were left alone. 

Sunil seemed to be the only person who recognized this. Needless to say, he was a hero to us lonely souls. He would give us tips on  how to recognize the needy/lusty souls among them, how to "tune" these girls/women to get them to agree to what you want. The first step to recognizing the lusty one is to hold eye contact. If she holds eye contact for more than 2 seconds, then you should smile. Not a half hearted smile, but a full throttle ear to ear smile like you know her very well. She will smile back.It never occurred to us 3 duffers that any person in the world if you smiled at them like they were familiar friend, it is only human nature to smile back instinctively, because they do not have time to think their reaction through, and to reciprocate a smile is instinctive.

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Of the King Cobra

Watching a program about the King Cobra on National Geographic, with my son..

"The King Cobra can grow up to 18 feet long.(so what? There are other snakes that are long)

The King Cobra doesn't just bite once and let go. It literally chews, biting again and again, injecting small doses of Venom each time (Eww! Not a nice image)

The King Cobra has other snakes on its diet (Just one as a pet would do, Don't need to worry about the rest๐Ÿ˜œ)

The King Cobra can raise one third of its body off the ground (So what?๐Ÿ˜‰.
.....Wait... What was that...1/3rd.... of 18 feet... which is...6 feet๐Ÿ˜ณ Gulp!!!.It would be looking down on me, or... eye to eye....Ayyo!!!)

The villagers talk of a man who once was faced eye to eye in this fashion, and was bit on his Nose ๐Ÿ‘ƒ. Since there were no doctors or hospitals close by & he would die if something wasn't done immediately, he used his Machete to slice off his Nose.

Ayyo! Change the Channel!!๐Ÿ˜ต